GREENSBORO, N.C. — As much as you love your dad, sometimes, you might not see eye-to-eye, which can cause rifts in your relationship. If you are on the outs with your father and want to mend fences, we have a few tips to help you.
First, before you try to mend fences with your dad, you should reflect on what fractured your relationship and how you got there. This isn't a fault-finding mission. It's an examination of how each of you contributed to the breakdown. And yes, one party can play a bigger role in the breakdown. This is important to remember because they may be unwilling to see their role or accept responsibility. Second, decide on what you want from your dad and the relationship. If you expect he'll do something different, say something, or feel a certain way, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Expectations can be a heartbreaker.
When you're ready, reach out to your dad to let him know you'd like to fix things between you. When you chat, explain how you feel and what you want to happen. Then ask him for his perspective. And then, listen. Listen to his words. Listen to what he doesn't say. And watch his body language.
Many times, when you want to fix things with someone, you tend to rush the process and have expectations. It can take time to rebuild, and, commonly, people can fall back to who they are. This means that if you expect what it will go or be, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, appreciate the journey and effort.
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