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‘Not worth it’: One mom uses her story to spread awareness about suicide

September is Suicide Prevention Month, and one mom is using her story to spread awareness of suicide prevention in kids.

MERIDIAN, Idaho — After several months of mental health struggles, Meridian resident Toni Briggs said her family hit what she calls “rock bottom.” 

“Almost two years ago, my oldest son attempted suicide,” Toni said. 

Toni was able to find her son, Tyler Briggs, and save him. But she said the experience affected her family deeply. 

“It was hands down, the hardest thing I've ever experienced in my entire life,” Toni said.

444 people died by suicide in Idaho in 2023, according to the CDC. It’s the ninth leading cause of death in the state. 

Toni said after her son’s attempted suicide, she wants to use what she went through to help other moms who have kids struggling and spread awareness on warning signs she wished she knew. 

“It's hard to watch anyone that you love struggle with their mental health,” Toni said. “But for me, in the position where I stood watching my child go through it, you feel badly as a parent. You'd just rather take that on for them.” 

Toni said she started noticing that her son was struggling when he started to act differently – he didn’t want to hang out with his friends and was tired. 

“He just wasn't as interested in the things that he had been interested in,” Toni said. “He was tired all the time, but he didn't necessarily always seem depressed.”

She then did everything she could to help. Toni looked into therapy, started getting her son medications and would have open conversations with him. She said it’s important to treat any sign as a warning sign. 

“I could tell that he was struggling. We were open about it. We talked about it,” Toni said. 

Looking back, she said she wishes she would have taken Tyler to a functional medicine doctor to try to find the root cause of what was going on. 

“I would have sought out a functional medicine doctor or a doctor that would have taken a look at the whole health, whole body. Is there anything going on here that could be contributing to the decline of his mental health?” Toni said. 

She also said she wishes she went to a psychiatrist to find any underlying health issues. 

“I wish there would have been people, whether a pediatrician or school counselor, that would have informed us of other community options,” Toni said. 

Right after her son’s suicide attempt, Toni said she didn’t talk about it with anyone – something now, she wishes she did. 

“That's when we have to talk about it, because there's so many people that are hurting, or so many moms that are silently struggling,” Toni said. 

As a mom, she said she put the guilt on herself, but wants other moms to know it is OK for them to be hurting too. 

“It was really hard to kind of be on that personal journey as a mom, feeling the guilt, feeling responsibility, an entire basket of feelings, while you're also trying to just get your kid healthy and trying to help them as much as you can,” Toni said. 

Toni now wants to spread awareness and a message for people of any age – that it takes time to heal, but it is possible. 

“It’s not worth it,” Toni said. “There are so many people that need you and love you, and it gets better, but sometimes you just have to wait it out, and it's okay to ask for help, and don't ever stop asking for help.”

If you are in crisis, you can call, text or chat with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988, or contact the Crisis Text line by texting TALK to 741741. 

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